Bullies

There always seems to be a lot of talk about bullying. How to talk to your kids, how to recognize the signs, cyber bullies, etc... 

But....

What do you really do when your child tells you he is being bullied?

Your heart breaks. Of course, you hope for a peaceful resolution. You talk to him about it, trying to find out as many details as you can. Has it gotten physical? If so, how? Have you told a teacher/ principal? Did you tell the punk ass  other kid to stop? What did he do?

Then you talk to the teacher. Hopefully it gets nipped in the bud. 

But if it doesn't? If there is a momentary quiet, and just when you think, everything will be ok, you find out it is starting again?

Obviously, this is something that we are dealing with. Starting the end of last year, another boy in Sean's class (of 13) began socially isolating him. Telling Sean he can't play with him, starting a club and inviting all the other boys to join, but telling Sean he can't. Crap like that.

Fast forward to 3rd grade. It gets progressively worse. to the point that Sean's best friends won't play with him because this other boy doesn't want to play. Sean begins to think he is stupid and unlikable. He tells me this other boy shoved him at the play ground. He goes into the after care room at recess to play with his little brother since no one else will play with him.

Now, Ry and I have Sean in Kung Fu. We want him to be able to defend himself, to regain that self confidence he has lost since this has started. I spoke with his teacher (she doesn't have recess duty, and was unaware of most of the isolation and of the shove). 

That day, she gets the principal to come into the class and discuss bullying. They have a long discussion, and some of the older kids are invited in, 1 that was bullied and 1 that was the bully. Sean gets the chance to confront this other boy, and his former best friends, about how he feels.

And things are better.

Until they aren't.

The isolation is beginning again. A new boy starts school, and is "recruited" to the other boy's group. 

What do you do then? I mean, I know I need to let the teacher and principal know it is starting again.

But how do I heal the emotional distress of such a gentle soul?

This is a boy that hurts when he steps on a bug. That won't let me kill a spider in the house, instead, catches it in a jar and takes it outside.

How can I convince him he is smart, worth loving, worth having as a friend?

Part of why we chose a small private school for our children is the sense of community and family the school promotes. But if my son is being ostracized, and especially if it continues, am I doing him a disservice? I don't want to put him in a new school. He says he likes going to the school he is at. 

Post Migraine Cravings/Dreams

I had a migraine yesterday. At work. I was close to being finished with my patient list, and luckily I have an awesome co-worker, Kim, who said she would see my last patient. I took a Zomig as soon as I was able to get into my purse, and did my treatment notes and billing, like a good little PTA. Ryan came and picked me up, and his brother came with him to drive my car home. (Do I not have just the BEST family?)  When I got home, I promptly went to bed and slept. Upon waking, I felt somewhat better, still not my normal self, and kinda in a drug induced state. I popped another Zomig to help with the pain.

When I woke up this morning, I still was pretty lethargic, with some neck and jaw pain (mot typical with my migraines, but is listed as a common side effect of Zomig). Went to work and got through my day.

Since I woke up from my nap yesterday afternoon, I have been craving protein, salt and spicy food.  Protein kinda makes since to me, it's what the body uses to heal itself. Spicy, well, let's just say I always crave spicy food. The hotter the better... But Salt??? I never crave salt. I mean I rarely (if ever) add salt while cooking. Ryan knows if I'm cooking, he should probably bring the salt shaker to the table... Perhaps I'm craving it due to an electrolyte imbalance? Sodium, after all, helps with nerve impulse conduction.

Right now, I am sitting with a quesadilla filled with pepper jack cheese, turkey and  the salt shaker, sprinkling salt on every bite....

Does anyone else have cravings following a migraine, or am I just weird?

And since yesterday was my first time taking Zomig, I'm curious about weird dreams? Has anyone had weird, vivid dreams after taking it, or any other triptan family medicine? I had a dream that I was at work, with my kick ass co workers, but instead of being at work, we were at school. We were late to class. I looked at the class schedule and said "Don't worry. It's just Drama. If we dance down the hall and into class, the teacher will just think we were trying to make a dramatic entrance." So we all went dancing, leaping twirling down the hall and into a room...

And yes, we were all wearing tutus. Even the men I work with.

(Mostly) Finished Bathroom

My last post was all about what I wanted my bathroom to look like. See it here. Well, it's pretty close to my two week deadline, and we are just about there. Woo Hoo! I have an almost normal bedroom and bathroom back. Some before pictures in all their messy glory:

As you can see, we had the boring standard white walls, white cabinets, and builder's style mirror. We also had the yucky, tacky brass vanity lights, old yellow heat lamp cover. Disgusting, really.

Now here are some after pictures:

  

So, as you can see, we switched out the light switch and outlets and covers, changed out the light fixture, painted the heat lamp cover, replaced the shower curtain and rod, painted and added some art work.

We are still working on framing the mirror and deciding on some window treatment. We will also probably hang the pictures on the vanity top.

In the next year, we are planning on replacing the toilet, bath/shower combo, and tile the floor.

I also have some pictures of me looking smoking hot in my stripping (paint, you dirty minded people) and painting garb. You will probably see some when I write about how we done it.

Hope this inspires someone to update their boring old white bathroom!

Bathroom update

A couple of weeks ago, Ry and I decided it was time to update our bathroom. It was drab. It was dreary. It was downright dreadful. White walls, white cabinets, builder grade mirror, tacky brass vanity lighting, ugly overhead lighting. So, what did I do? I got on Pinterest, just like all the other DIYers out there.

I had an idea of the feel I wanted. Vintage Hollywood glamour mixed with more modern colors. This is what I fell in love with: http://pinterest.com/pin/202732420697973710/

Now, being a realistic (on occasion) woman, I knew there was no way we could afford this, nor do we have a large enough bathroom for it either. It's just not functional for this family of four.

But... I love it. The gray and plum with silver accents. It has the elegance that I want in my bathroom. I want a place to escape from mommyhood, where I can soak in a bubble bath with the lights on low for hours at a time (ok, maybe just 1 hour...).

So here's our plan. We are keeping the sink, faucet, and cabinets. The cabinets, trim, and any accent wood will be painted a dark gray, Behr's pencil point. The walls will be a lighter gray, Behr's dark pewter. We bought them in a matte finish, even though everyone reccomends semi gloss or gloss. I have plans of doing a gloss stencil in the dark pewter on the walls. Similar to this idea:
http://pinterest.com/pin/202732420698225138/

or this: http://pinterest.com/pin/202732420698225019/

We will replace the vanity lighting to a fixture with a satin nickel finish to match the faucet and other hardware we have. We are going to frame our mirror. I have purchased a plum shower curtain to bring in the purple. Hopefully next year we will replace the toilet, tub and floor. 

We have already started the process, and our bedroom looks like a war zone. Hopefully we can have this finished in another 2 weeks. Wish us luck!

Updates

It's been awhile... again. So much has been going on that it has been difficult to find time to think, let alone write down my thoughts.  So, here are some updates:

•  Sean is taking Kung Fu lessons, and is having a blast.He has a white belt and is working on his first stripe. Some times it is stressful for me. I have to work on the days he has his classes, and I am not always finished when I need to be, so I have to do my billing and documenting at home on those days. He (And Ry and Aidan) all had the flu for a week in February. So not fun. So of course he missed that week of lessons. Then the poor kiddo got an ear and sinus infection and missed another week... 
• Aidan..... I think he will get his own post soon. We are having some challenging behavior issues with that boy. Thank you Mom for cursing me with the "One day you will have a kid just like you" curse.  If I was anything like Aidan has been, I am surprised I lived to tell this tale.
• Work: We have some staffing changes the past few months, and I really miss my work twin Kristen. I hope she is having fun in Texas. We are going through a remodel at work where our Rehab gym moved. Trying to get the new gym organized was/is interesting, to say the least. We all have different thoughts and ideas on how it should be organized. Luckily we work well together...
• Home: I have spring fever. I have been cleaning, organizing and planning. I'm trying to figure out how to do an edible front yard that is functional, easy to get to, and attractive. No to mention, low cost. I am also planning a redo of our master bath. This will probably take a while to complete, as we are on a budget for this and want to replace the bathtub, toilet and tile the floor. So we are doing this in pieces. Right now, it mostly cosmetic changes: New paint, new shower curtain, and (hopefully soon) new light fixture. We are going to keep the existing sink and cabinet, but change the cabinet color. Look for a complete post, including my (p)inspiration for our new bathroom look. Coming soon.

So, now that life is kind of calming down, here is what you can look forward to from me while I travel through life:

• Master bath redo
• Aidan's behavior 
• Garden updates
• Health updates
• My general B.S. about whatever is on my mind.

Thanks for putting up with me!

Understanding and Acceptance

Like many parents, Friday night I hugged my kids a little tighter, a little longer. Thankful I had the opportunity  to do so. I regretted the previous week of arguing with Aidan,and letting the frustration win out.

The news of the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary school is not easy to hear, to read, to think about. The children were just babies really- six and seven years old. Such a senseless catastrophe.

Is stricter gun control laws the answer? I don't know. Honestly, I am not a fan of guns. I know how to shoot a rifle. At least technically if not accurately... I could look up statistics on how many mass shooting there are in each country vs the strictness/ease of gaining firearms. I'm not going to do that.

Instead, I want everyone to think of how they treat their loved ones, class mates, students, coworkers, the checkers at the grocery store. Do we give them the respect they inherently deserve as humans? Or do we treat them as servants, lesser beings?

And think of your preconceived notions of mental illness. The stereotypes you hold. Do you think of am insane asylum? One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest?  Personality disorders, depression, Schizophrenia... Let's start a discussion that will lead  to an understanding of the intricacies and variances of the human mind. Let's stop attaching a social stigma to these disorders. Let's allow people with mental illness to function in a society that understands and supports them. Please, let's help and offer support for family members and caregivers and provide them with the resources they need to keep their loved ones healthy.

Can you imagine the stress, the daily fear, of raising a child, knowing he/she has a "problem" and not knowing how to get help? Or fearing the answer if you ask for help?

catchin' up

School is in full force for the kiddos, has been for a while. i meant to post about Aidan's first day of school, but I didn't. I think we were in a rare (lately, anyways) busy period at work. He loves it. In fact, he is upset every might wen he asks if he has school tomorrow and we say 'no, it's the weekend.' (by the way, my shift key is only working occasionally today, so if something should be capitalized, and it's not, I apologize. It would drive me nuts!) the only problem we are having is his accidents. Sometimes, we will go all week without any, the next week, every friggin day!

Sean is in 3rd grade now, and loves it. He says it is harder than 2nd and he doesn't like that. His class is going on a field trip to a pumpkin patch on Thursday. he is pretty excited about that. I wish I could go too, but I have to work. We can't afford for me to take the time off right now.

work has been either crazy busy, or super slow. I would love just a straight 40 every week so I know we can pay bills. thank goodness Ry is working at the boy's school to pay for their tuition. otherwise, we would be S.O.L. and would have to pull them out of private school. not that I have anything against public school. I am a product of public schooling, and I think I did pretty damn well. I feel well rounded socially and intellectually. But the kids are really thriving at Brighton, and i would hate to pull them out.

In other news, i have discovered pinterest. A bit later than most. i was resistant. But now i am completely addicted! I am blaming Brittany for my new addiction.

Also, my Grandma celebrated her 88th birthday this weekend. I would post a picture, but I can't figure out how to get a picture from facebook to my blog. Last time, it was easy, but something has changed.... Anyway. She is in oklahoma, and I miss the heck out of her. happy Birthday Grandma!

oh, and i got contacts again! It's funny. My older sister wanted glasses so bad she lied on a vision test and then had to go through weeks of treatment for lazy eye (i think it was lazy eye. i was little). and I wish my eyes were bad enough for lasik surgery.

and me and the boys made chocolate chip cookies and enchiladas today.

next time , I will be more focused with my topic. Thanks for reading my randomness today.