Yes, it has changed me. I drive slower, I don't drink as much, I go to bed earlier. I think a little differently too. I am more mature and responsible than I was 8 years and a few months ago. But I am me. I am not only Sean and Aidan's mom. I am a distinct individual.
It took me several years and a lot of guilt to come to the realization that I can be Sean's mom, Aidan's mom, and still be my own person. I think that is important.
As far as being a better person.... The jury is still out. I can be selfish, self involved. I get cranky easily.
Motherhood has different definitions and rules to each woman. The decisions I make as a mother are not the same decisions my mother made. Granted, they may be similar in some respects. Does that mean my decisions are wrong or my mother's were? No. We are different women, with different children. And that is perfectly fine. As long as neither of us violate any laws.
I have good, positive role models for being a mother. My mom taught me that I am never too old to improve myself, to continue my education. My step mother showed me that I can overcome any obstacle in my path. My mother in law, although we haven't always seen eye to eye, has helped me learn to accept what I cannot change. I may not always follow their lead, but the lessons are there, and will be there for me.
Being a mother is so much more than what I expected. It is so much more rewarding.
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