Wow. I have been feeling so good lately. No major mood swings, no complete and utter exhaustion (tired still yes, but not exhausted). I haven't been feeling super stressed and overwhelmed. Happy. I think I have actually been happy. I don't mean happy like "Oh, I just a really awesome pair of shoes happy," but the type of happy where you feel all is right in the world.
I haven't felt like that in years. That's pretty sad, don't you think? I mean I've been happy, nothing major going wrong, everything moving in the right direction as a whole. But I haven't been at peace. Writing that makes me feel sad.
I mean, why should I go through years, just going forward. I am young still. I should embrace my life with abandonment? Not quite the right word, but close enough. I should feel content more than not. And I haven't been.
I have a lot to be happy about, my kids are healthy, I have a good job, good friends, wonder family, the best husband. So why haven't I been feeling it?
My hypothesis, and it is only a hypothesis, is my hormone have been out of whack (a truly technical description) since I had Aidan. And no, I am not blaming him for any of my thoughts or feelings. I'm about to get a bit personal here, so if you don't wanna hear it, then stop reading now.
Here's how I came to that thought: My cycles have not been regular since I had Aidan. And I could set my watch by them before. I know I have always had mood swings, but I have gone to the extremes since giving birth. My internal thermometer has not been working right, in fact I wake up sweating, while Ryan has his head buried under the blankets. (Some of the old ladies at work, keep asking if I am old enough to go through "the change"). There are some other, more personal items, I will not discuss here.
I go see my Women's health doctor Friday for a follow up. I am apprehensive, but hopeful she can help me find the answers. On the plus side, I am still content.
Well baby girl you sound just like me. I was in my late 20's and having the same problems with hotflashes and night sweats. My OBGYN put me on striaght estrogen for a few months (3 or 4 I think) then switched me to a balanced bc pill for a year. Seems my ovaries were producing little to no estrogen for several years (starting probably not too long after I had you)...just enough to have an irregular cycle. After that year my system was back on track till I hit my late 30's when I hit perimenopause a little early. Might want to give your practitioner this family history. May or may not mean anything. But I feel your pain with the night sweats, etc. Hope they fix that for you, but I am glad to hear that you are feeling "happy".
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